As the holiday whirlwind ensues, I find myself contemplating all that 2019 has brought, and taught me. I am coming off of a year I never thought I would have.
I never envisioned this last year’s events, and trust me, I’ve done a lot of visioning in the past. Now, I look back and reflect. They say your greatest pain can become your greatest gift. So, maybe that reoccurring thought has led me to the place where I am now. A place of questioning – What is the gift:
- What did I learn that I want to hold onto next year?
- What am I going to let go of that no longer serves me?
Here’s my biggest takeaway: “Most everyone’s doing the best they can, including me.” That one learning alone is a gift. A gift of acceptance.
Acceptance opens my eyes to new choices, new possibilities, new ways of thinking, of being.
- Acceptance Gives me Grace. – grace for myself and for those who have caused me pain. I have learned this year a prayer that has kept me sane (some days). It somehow softens me. In Hawaii, they call it the Ho’oponopono Prayer. I call it the prayer of acceptance because it is one tool I have used to help me install grace into the software of my brain.
- Acceptance Gives me Grit. – to get back up, again. and again, and again….and again. To move forward. As Angela Duckworth puts it in GRIT – “….grit grows as we figure out our life philosophy, learn to dust ourselves off after rejection and disappointment.” Yes, I can see that acceptance makes way to resolve (“grit”) for what is important to me – growing stronger than anything else.
- Acceptance Gives me Gratitude. I have become painfully aware of my power to choose. The most powerful choice, I have decided, is whether to choose suffering or choose gratitude. I’ve been amazed at how often God has shown up in the deepest, darkest places to shed a bit of light. Whether it’s small miracles that are more than a coincidence, an unexpected kind gesture or just eye-opening awe, I have found God in a magical way this year, and the more I am grateful, the more of God I see.
- Acceptance fuels my Passion to Give. – through the lens of a full cup, my heart has become open to seeing the greater pain outside of me. By getting through to the other side of what seemed like an impossible hill to climb – gaining stability through a divorce, removing chaos, buying and moving to a new home, untangling all of my affairs, including my business, and most importantly, finding creative ways to carry my daughter through it where I can still see her smile, snuggle and connect, I see there is a gift to give.
So, that is the question “what gift can I give?” in this new learning of “most everyone is just doing the best they can?”
My gift is greater empathy – I now have a deep compassion for other single moms who are less fortunate than me. I now know how difficult it is to go through a divorce – even if it is not what you wanted or planned for. It is systemically difficult for women to find hope – to stand on their own feet on the other side of divorce. Culturally, legally, religiously, we have systems that are built on families staying together.
I want to be a part of giving hope for those who find themselves in crisis, that they too can get to the other side and stabilize. I want to help women who need it to rise up with their children on the other side of a broken marriage – to give them hope and a newfound love – love of self. So, as divine power would have it, we are hosting our first-ever give back gathering – it will be held on December 19, 2019 from 2:30-5:30 at Her HQ (a new event space for women) in Bishop Arts District in Dallas.
We are partnering with Interfaith Housing Coalition whose mission is to empower families in crisis to break the cycle of poverty. We will be assembling self-care gifts for 50 moms at the gathering. It will be a gathering of elves to promote hope and “self-care”- because moms who take care of themselves can take better care of others. Interfaith will take the gifts and deliver them to these moms on or before December 25th!
We have been so blessed with generous donations and sponsors –Jergens, Chili’s, Ban, John Frieda, Curél, Bioré, 2nd Kind, Fieldwork, and Fears Nachawati Law Firm.
We still have a few remaining items on our wish list if you would like to donate, the link to Amazon Wish List is here.
